


Honey Trap

by ruff_ethereal



Series: Violence is Always a Valid Solution [2]
Category: Big Hero 6 (2014), Borderlands
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, F/F, Psychopaths In Love, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 15:00:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3072344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruff_ethereal/pseuds/ruff_ethereal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Honey and GoGo go out on their idea of a date--taking a Scamper to the deserts of Promethea, pretending to be stranded, and murdering whoever comes to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honey Trap

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [in the night i see you](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2666444) by [baichan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/baichan/pseuds/baichan). 



“Geeze, this is one nasty stomach wound! How’d you get it?”

“Oh,” Honey Lemon said as she sat on the examination table, “My girlfriend and I were playing Russian roulette in bed.”

“Hope you were using Tediores,” Hiro piped up as he treated the sizable bullet hole.

“Ha! Where’s the fun in _that?_ She’s a Jakobs gal, through and through.”

Hiro looked up and smirked. “Heh, seems like it takes more than one shot, even with a Jakobs.”

“To kill me?” Honey Lemon grinned, “Yes”

The medic’s mouth slowly fell open in horror. “Okay, patching you up now!”

* * *

“So, how was your trip?”

“Pretty good!” Honey Lemon replied as they walked down the streets of the Bunker, “This Hiro’s actually a capable doctor, unlike most of the quacks on this planet.”

“You might not want to kill him.” GoGo said.

Honey Lemon chuckled. “Why? Because he’s your friend, and you’re going to murder/break-up with me if I do?”

“No, his brother’s dead, and I know how you like to poison siblings in front of each other, one at a time.”

“Aww, you remembered!”

“You’re not a woman someone forgets that easily, Honey.” GoGo smiled.

“You are _so_ getting laid tonight.” Honey Lemon thumbed to the direction of the city square, “Anyway, want to go to the bounty board and see if there are any new jobs up?”

GoGo thumbed to the gates. “Actually, I was actually thinking we could go take out a Scamper, pretend we’re stranded, and kill whoever tries to help or kidnap us.”

Honey Lemon paused and leaned down to plant a kiss on her lover’s cheek. “Ah, I _knew_ there was a reason I haven’t killed you yet!”

* * *

They stopped the car in the middle of the desert, surrounded by nothing but low dunes on every side, far away from civilization. The women climbed out of the Scamper, and settled down beside each other on the relatively shady side.

They pulled out their guns—a Jakobs shotgun for the biker, a Maliwan shock SMG for the chemist, and waited.

“You want a drink?” Honey Lemon asked as she pulled out a thermos from her SDU, “It’s mildly poisoned for that extra kick!”

“Define ‘mildly.’”

“It’ll kill you in the next four hours at best, or in the next ten seconds, at the worst.”

“With or without everything else you've been slipping me?"

“With.”

“Sure.”

The exchange was made. Honey Lemon turned to her lover with an interface booting up behind her glasses, GoGo settled her shotgun on her lap and started unscrewing the cap of the thermos. Before the biker could put the rim to her lips, however, they heard the steady hum of a Barracuda hovering up, before its rider killed the engine.

The drink was recapped and stored back into the SDU. Both women readied their weapons, crept over to either edge of the car, and peered around.

A blonde man with messy hair casually strode up to them. He was wielding a Bandit machine gun, casually resting across his shoulders. Aside from how casually dressed he was for Promethea—complete with a monster beanie—he wore metallic gloves and boots, alongside what looked like a monstrous maw on his chest.

“Hey!” He called out, waving with his gun hand, “Name’s Fred!”

The two lovers ducked back into cover, and shared a look. Then, they slowly stepped out to the side, fingers on the triggers, barrels pointed right at the newcomer.

“Woah, hey! No need for guns here! We’re all friends! Look!” The man stashed his rifle behind his back, smiled, and held out his now empty hands.

“Yeah! All ‘buddies’ here!” A fourth voice chimed in, “So why don’t you fine ladies drop your weapons, and come ride with me back to camp?” The bandit roared with laughter as they stepped up, holding their own rifle, “’Fraid there’s no room in the back for your friend, though!”

Honey and GoGo pointed their guns at the marauder. Fred casually strolled up to them, hands still empty, till they started threatening him with their gun.

“Hey, can you do me a favour and say ‘Aaah!’” Fred asked as his suit started glowing and whirring.

The bandit blinked. “Say AAAARRGGGHHHH!”

The women watched in pleasant surprise as the bandit was suddenly engulfed in flames, the marauder screaming and flailing as they rapidly burned to death.

“Eh,” Fred grinned as he held up his newly digistructed super-claws, “Close enough!”

Two neatly bisected sections dropped the ground, and burned away into ashes.

Honey Lemon hummed in approval. GoGo started creeping up behind Fred.

“One sec!” Fred said as he pulled out his gun, crouched down, and rocketed into the air. The mini-Kaiju made a sweep of the area from several stories above, landing back down with a quiet thump. “All clear! Turns out it was just the one guy.”

He turned back to the two, still smiling. “So, you girls need a ride? We can digistruct new Barracudas from mine.”

Honey Lemon nodded, and stepped up to him. “Yes, we do, that’s very kind of you, Fred!” Behind her glasses, scanners activated and started taking note of his vitals, physical statistics, and what exactly would constitute a lethal dose of what. “Name’s Honey Lemon, by the way.”

GoGo stepped up beside her girlfriend. “GoGo. Pretty nice gear.”

“Had it custom-made!” Fred beamed as his exo-suit powered down, the claws disappearing in a cloud of data. “It used to have a whole monster shell, but it gets too hot in there here on Promethea so I just go without it.”

“Must have cost you a pretty penny to have it done.” Honey mused, now checking her available stocks of chemicals, poisons, and free syringes.

“Yep! Totally worth it, though; pretty cool that a vacation to Promethea is so cheap, too!”

“You’re here on vacation?” GoGo asked as she peered around the dunes.

“Hey, where else is it legal to go murder hundreds of thousands of human beings with a supersuit and a flamethrower?” Fred grinned, “Just getting the permits for it on the core worlds is a nightmare!”

“What a coincidence!” Honey Lemon shut off her glasses interface, “We’re both here to loot and shoot, too!”

“Want to join us?” GoGo asked, before she collapsed to the ground, body completely limp.

Fred staggered back. “Woah, your friend here okay?”

“Probably just heatstroke!” Honey said as she knelt down to the biker, holding her hand over her mouth, feeling her pulse, and scanning her with her glasses, “She should be fine once we get back to the Bunker!”

“Roger that! Here, let me.” Fred scooped up the unconscious GoGo over his shoulder, and started marching back to his Barracuda. “I’ll even help you tie her to the back!”

“You really like helping, don’t you?” Honey said as she digistructed a second hoverbike.

“Hey, it’s what friends are for!” Fred laid GoGo out on the back of Honey’s copy, “Aside from, you know, not shooting them and stuff.”

“True! Hey, can I interest you in a drink I made?”


End file.
